How Bickslow starts a fight
by Azulira
Summary: A short one shot, about how Bickslow manages to start a fight in the guild. Mostly just meant to be humorous and maybe get some groundwork for a future universe I may have planned. Characters are relatively OoC, sorry. Alternatively titled: CUSSING AROUND KID'S ISN'T MANLY!


It was a relatively quiet day in the Fairy Tail guild hall, which is to say there had only been three minor brawls before noon. That would soon change as the doors opened to reveal, not Natsu, Gray, Erza, or any of the other more common fighters, but Evergreen. She had come in a bit late this morning, though no one questioned it. She did, after all, recently move into a new place in the city no one had yet seen. Coincidentally, Elfman had just rented a new place in the city farther from his sisters, claiming it wasn't 'manly' to depend on them as much as he did. Basically, the whole guild knew the two were living together, mostly because the two had finally come clean about dating the day they moved.

As she always did, Evergreen went to the Thundergod Tribe's table, sitting across from both Freed and Bickslow. The seith mage, who was without his helmet, had his face contorted in confusion. This prompted Evergreen to ask Freed, "Did you let him think again? You know Porlyusica said that was dangerous."

"He's only been like this since you walked in," Freed answered, looking at Bickslow, "he's still probably trying to figure out how you could stand living with Elfman."

"Elfman and I are not living together," Evergreen retorted futilely.

"Yes, and I've never read a single book. Nor has Bickslow ever played with dolls. And Laxus abhors thunder storms," Freed retorted, causing Evergreen to sigh in frustration. Giving up, they sat in silence for a few moments. It was a peaceful few moments, and was unfortunately ended with Elfman sitting with them, which was no longer uncommon.

"Congratulations," Bickslow spoke when Elfman joined them, "to both of you."

"Congratulations, congratulations," his dolls echoed.

"What are you talking about?" Evergreen asked, confused.

"Well now I know why you've been sick lately," Bickslow commented, oblivious to the confused looks of his tablemates, "but you could have told us you know."

"Told us," the dolls agreed, seemingly sad.

"There's nothing to tell, I must have had a stomach bug," Evergreen replied.

"It's not manly to accuse one of your teammates of hiding stuff," Elfman added, hopping to his girlfriend's defense.

Bickslow blinked, looking at Evergreen and Elfman, and asked, "You mean you don't know yet?" When they both shook their hands, he grinned, turning to Freed and whispering something.

This caused Freed to blush, "Oh my, and you're certain?" Bickslow nodded, much to the couple's confusion. "I must go tell Mira," he said, rushing from the booth to the bar.

"What does he need to tell Mira?" Elfman asked quickly, but Bickslow just laughed. A few seconds later, there was a happy sounding squeal, and mere moments later the entire guild was abuzz.

Immediately, Evergreen and Elfman were swamped by various people, from Wendy, to Natsu, to Macao, to Erza, to even Gajeel, who was only their because Lily was. They were swarmed with various forms of "Congratulations!" and "Wow! You must be so happy!" There was even a, "I remember when you were just brats yourself," from Master Makarov

"What's going on?" Evergreen finally managed to ask, causing everyone to blink and look at them.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," Bickslow said, "Evergreen, you're pregnant."

Of course, his babies chose to echo, "Pregnant, Pregnant," which only served to unnerve Evergreen.

"What do you mean, pregnant? Elfman and I never!" Evergreen yelled, frustrated.

"Never use protection?" Bickslow finished, laughing, "Trust me, you're pregnant. I can see it's little soul."

"I, I, I," stammered Evergreen angrily, but knew she couldn't deny it, Bickslow wouldn't let the whole guild believe this kind of joke... Probably. She decided to just ask, "What can you tell about it?"

"Well, the kid's definitely going to take after it's father. Look's like it's going to be a real man," he said, laughing, while Elfman cheered and Evergreen smacked him. "But in seriousness, I don't know shit about the kid, all I can see is an untouched soul. If you wanna know it's gender or something, see a doctor."

Elfman immediately responded with, "Cursing around kid's isn't manly!" As he threw the first punch of today's major brawl. Never mind his child hadn't been born yet, it still wasn't manly!


End file.
